Back To Home

Home

Articles Poetry Knowledge

eCard

Games Chit Chat Guestbook

Knowledge
[an error occurred while processing this directive]

MATTERS CONCERNING MARRIAGE (NIKAH)

by Abul Rashid Geloo

As Muslims, we have no choice but to conduct all our affairs and lives according to the teachings of Islam based on the Al-Qur'aan and Sunnah (Hadith). If we do not, then we are guilty and questionable to Allah and His beloved Prophet Muhammad (Salallahu Alayhi Wassalam). In fact, our total success in this world and the hereafter depends in following the teachings of our beloved Prophet (Salallahu Alyhi Wassalam). It is therefore very important that we acquaint ourselves with the necessary knowledge regarding all affairs including Nikah, which is one of the most important institutions in Islam.

The following are just a few extracts from the Qur'aan and Hadith which prove the importance of Nikah and the dangers of delaying or abandoning it. 

QUR'ANIC VERSES & HADITH REGARDING MARRIAGE

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Salallahu Alyhi Wassalam) has said, "O youthful people, if any of you have the means to, he should get married, as it lowers the eyesight and protects the private parts. Those who have not the ability to do so should fast, as it will be a shield for him." (Bukhari and Muslim). 

The prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) has also said, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied, asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth." (Tirmidhi)

Allah's Apostle Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "O followers of Muhammad! There is none, who has a greater sense of Ghira (self-respect) than Allah, so He has forbidden that His slave commits illegal sexual intercourse or His slave girl commits illegal sexual intercourse. O followers of Muhammad! If you but knew what I know, you would laugh less and weep more!" (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 148: Narrated 'Aisha)

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Everyone of you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for his wards). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible (for his subjects); a man is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of you are guardians and are responsible (for your wards)." (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 116: Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar)  

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) decreed that one should not try to cancel a bargain already agreed upon between some other persons (by offering a bigger price). And a man should not ask for the hand of a girl who is already engaged to his Muslim brother, unless the first suitor gives her up, or allows him to ask for her hand. (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 73: Narrated Ibn 'Umar)  

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Beware of suspicion (about others), as suspicion is the falsest talk, and do not spy upon each other, and do not listen to the evil talk of the people about others' affairs, and do not have enmity with one another, but be brothers. And none should ask for the hand of a girl who is already engaged to his (Muslim) brother, but one should wait till the first suitor marries her or leaves her." (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 74: Narrated Abu Huraira)  

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4: Narrated 'Abdullah)  

Abu Huraira (Radhiyallahu Anhu) has reported Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) as saying: A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust.  (Book 8, Number 3457)   

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)." (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 67: Narrated Abu Huraira)  

"It is He who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love)"  (Surah 7, Al A’raf, The Heights: 189)

"It is He who created man from water: then has He established relationships of lineage through marriage:
for Thy Lord has power (over all things)."
(Surah 25, Al Furqan, The Criterion: 54)

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah 30, Al Rum, The Romans: 21)

The Marriage Process in Islam

Before Marrying

Selecting a Spouse

The first thing we should look for when marrying is how committed the person is to Islam. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness (adherence to Islam), so choose a religious woman and you will prosper." (Muslim) "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."(Bukhari) "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman. (Muslim)

The same holds true when looking for a husband, as our beloved Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied, asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth." (Tirmidhi)

Of course, both parties have to agree to marry one another and they can not be forced to marry one another. Our Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "A woman whom has been previously married has more right concerning herself than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent must be asked about herself…" (Bukhari and Muslim)

Rules of Al-Khutbah (Request to marry a woman and the acceptance of the proposal)

The man has permission to see her face before agreeing to marry as the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Go and look at her (the woman you are considering marrying) because this will help your time together to be strengthened." (Ahmad)

After a man and woman have agreed to marry, they have to remember that the man is still not her mahram (men including her father, brothers, sons, maternal and paternal uncles, and nephews). This means they can not still deal with one another as partners in anyway (such as shaking hands, gazing at one another, being alone together, going out together, etc.), or go out with one another as we see people in the west doing. The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not have a private audience with a woman without her mahram." (Ahmad)

The Wedding Ceremony (Nikah)

Components

1 – Consent: ‘Aishah (R) asked the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) if women must be asked for their permission of marriage. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) replied, "Yes". She said, ‘The virgin is asked for her permission but she gets shy. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Her silence is her permission." (Bukhari and Muslim)

2 – The Wallee (Woman’s Guardian): The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "There is no nikah except with a wallee." (Ahmad, Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi)

3 – Two Witnesses:The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "There is no marriage except with a wallee and trustworthy witnesses." (Sahih - Bayhaqee) Also, "There is no marriage except with a wallee and two witnesses." (Sahih Al-Jaami’)

4 – The Mahr (Dowry): Allah says (what means): "And give to the women their dowry with a good heart, but if they out of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it without fear of any harm." (Al-Nisa 4:4) The mahr can be of any amount, The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Look for one even if it was an iron ring." (Bukhari and Muslim)

The woman is not obliged to give the man anything at the time of the wedding, as is done in some cultures.

Acts to be avoided

We should be careful to not act as the disbelievers do regarding their mixing of men and women, wearing tuxedos and white wedding gowns, exchanging rings, kissing in public, etc. The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Whoever resembles a people is one of them." (Abu Dawood)

After the Wedding

Supporting One’s Wife

The man is responsible for providing for his wife, as Allah says (what means), "Let the wealthy man spend according to his means; and let the man whose provisions are restricted spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah does not burden a soul beyond what He has given it, and Allah will grant ease after a hardship." (Al-Talaq 65:7)

Islam even gives women the right to take secretly money from their husbands if they are not providing for them. Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, came to the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) and said, "O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man and does not give me and my children enough provisions except when I take something from him with out his knowledge." The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Take what is reasonably sufficient for you and your children." (Bukhari and Muslim)

Educating One’s Family

Since the man has put in the position of providing for his family, he must also provide them with the proper Islamic education to keep them from the hellfire. Allah says (what means), ‘O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones (that were worshipped), over it are appointed angels stern and severe, who disobey not the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded." (Al-Tahrim 66:6)

Both the husband and wife should make sure their home is a place where Allah is remembered and His Commandments are reflected and acted upon. The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "The similitude of a home in which Allah is remembered and a home in which He is not is like the living and the dead." (Muslim)

The Wife Obeying Her Husband

A woman must obey her husband as long as he does not tell her to perform any haraam (unlawful) acts. Allah says (what means), "…the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in absence what Allah would have then guard." (Al-Nisa 4:34)

Kind Treatment To One’s Wife

Just because Allah has given men a position of authority does not give them the right to abuse it. They have to treat their wives in the best manner. Allah says (what means), "Live with them honorably." (Al-Nisa 4:19) The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "The believer with the most complete faith is the one with the best character, and the best of them are those whom treat their women the best. (Tirmidhi)

We can see from the seerah (biography) of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) that he would help his wives with housework and would engage in games with them as well.

This article did not cover all aspects of marriage, but it is hoped that it will be beneficial. May Allah forgive us for any mistakes we may have made in quoting the above verses and hadith. Ameen

-----------------------------------------

FURTHER ASPECTS OF MARRIAGE

A common custom among the people nowadays is for a girl or her parents to refuse a boy's proposal for reasons that the girl may first finish her high school education, college or some other studies. In light of the above Ayah and Hadith, what is the Islamic ruling regarding this attitude? What is the advice for those concerned?  

Response: It is clear beyond the shadow of doubt that the importance of everything else is next to the importance of getting married. Getting married is and should be the first priority for everyone of marriageable age. Therefore, our advice to all young men and young women is to get married quickly without unnecessary delay. Do not be too fussy about petty matters. Put your trust in Allah and make your decision about the boy or girl you wish to marry. You will be guided to the correct decision, Insha-Allah.

This is because the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) has said, "O youthful people, if any of you have the means to, he should get married, as it lowers the eyesight and protects the private parts. Those who have not the ability to do so should fast, as it will be a shield for him."  

The prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) has also said, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied, asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth." (Tirmidhi)

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) also said, "Marry the child-bearing, loving woman for I shall outnumber the peoples by you on the Day of Resurrection." This was recorded by Ahmad and graded sahih by ibn Hibban. 

Therefore, there are many benefits to marriage which the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) alluded to, including lowering the gaze, protecting the private parts, increasing the numbers of the Muslim Nation and being saved from great evil and misfortune.

May Allah grant to all what is best for their religion and worldly lives. He is All-Hearing, Close.

It is an important duty and responsibility for the parents to be concerned about finding suitable matches for their children.  Allah knows Best.

BACK

©2005 Mehbooba.co.uk Contact Us