The Importance of Involvement of a Guardian (wali) / Parents
It is advised and strongly recommended by Mehbooba Nikah that users of this matrimonial site adopt the following guidelines :
The two parties in question conform to the spirit and essence of Islamic principles.
Islamically, it is of primary importance that one doesnt delay in the decision making as to whether the couple wish to proceed with marriage. Perfrom Istikhara if necessary.
Further, the decision of going ahead with the marriage should not be taken until the parents or the guardians of both the potential bride and groom have become involved at the outset and are part of the matrimonial process - they are of vital importance.
Remember, a true dialogue can only be recognised formally once the guardian and parents of both parties have been involved in the dialogue process. Once the potential bride and groom have initiated contact, they should keep their dialogue to a minimum and within the shortest time scale (say 14 days). In this period one should establish if they have enough common characteristics and compatability between them for them to go ahead and progress the dialogue which warrants the involvement of parents/guardian.
As a guideline, once an online dialogue is established, and offline dialogue can take place via telephone. From this conversation, take a few days to decide whether one should proceed to the second stage. If either or both parties decide they do not wish to proceed further, then they should inform each other accordingly.
If both parties decide they wish to progress further, then taking a guardian or parent, the potential bride or groom should visit each other at their premises. In either of the parties case - the parents/guardians will be present. During this, the couple once more engage in a dialogue to get know each other better. Some commentators allow leaving the would-be couple on their own for a short while (eg in a different room).
Either of the parties should then contemplate if the match is suitable and whether it should progress to the next stage. One should not take too long in deciding this decision. If both parties feel the match is a suitable one then both parties can progress in the matrimonial process and nikah should be arranged.
By following these basic guidelines it will protect both the potential bride and groom, and save themselves from possible troubles later on. Moreover, the families of both parties are involved in the process and they advice and impact favourably in the decision making process - and help to decide whether the match is a suitable one or not. Thus saving the honour and dignity of both couples involved.
The fundamental aspect here is the involvement of ones parent/guardian at every stage, and keeping them informed and allowing them to contribute to the decision making process
Following such basic guidelines allows one to adopt Islamic principles in the matrimonial process and prevents one from falling into the trap of dating which is, without a question, haraam (forbidden) in Islam.
Please Also Read :
The Wali (Guardian) in Marriage: Role & Responsibilities
A Wali (Guardian) for a Converted Muslim Woman
Conditions of Witnesses to the Marriage Contract
Jazakallah
Mehbooba Nikah
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