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Etiquettes of Marriage 
 
 



Participation of the Wealthy in the Feast with their Wealth

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) It is commendable for the wealthy to help in the preparations for the wedding feast based on the hadith narrated by Anas (rad) about the Prophet’s (pbuh) marriage to Safiya (rada) : “Then, when we were on the road, Umm Sulaim (rada) prepared her (Safiya) for him (the Prophet and brought […]

 
The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh)   It is forbidden for either the husband or the wife to spread any of the secrets of their bedroom to anyone outside. The following two hadith are about this: First: “Verily among the worst people before Allaah on the Day of Judgement is a man who […]

 
What he should do the Morning After His Wedding Night

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh)   It is desireable for the husband to go to his relatives who came to visit him in his house, on the following morning, to give them greetings and pray for them. It is also desireable for them to do likewise for him, as in the following […]

 
What the two Spouses should Intend with their Marriage

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh)   Both spouses should enter into marriage with the following intentions: freeing themselves of unfulfilled sexual desires, and protecting themselves from falling into that which Allaah has forbidden (i.e. adultery and fornication). What’s more, a reward as the reward for sadaqa (voluntary giving of charity) is recorded […]

 
It is Preferable not to Practice Coitus Interruptus

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh)   Not practising coitus interruptus is preferable for a number of reasons: First: It is harmful for the woman, since it reduces her pleasure by cutting it short. If she agrees to it, it still contains the following negative points. Second: It negates part of the purpose of marriage […]

 
The Lawfulness of Coitus Interruptus

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) (Withdrawl of the penis from the vagina at the time of ejaculation with the purpose of avoiding impregnation. This can be done only with the permission of one’s wife). It is allowed for a Muslim man to practise coitus interrupts with his wife. There are several hadith […]

 
What is Permissible when She is on her Periods

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) It is allowed for him to enjoy pleasure with his wife in any way except for her private parts when she is on her period. There are several hadiths about this: First: “and do everything except intercourse itself.” [Muslim, Abu ‘Auwaana and Aboo Daawood] Second: On the […]

 
The Penitence of One who Has Sex during Menses

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) Whoever is overcome by desire and has sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating and before she becomes clean must give the value of one dinar’s weight of gold or about 4.25 grams (4.2315 to be more precise), or half that amount. This is based […]

 
The Prohibition of sex when She is Menstruating

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. This is clear in the following verse of the Qur’an: “They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women […]

 
Bathing before Sleeping is Preferable

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) Bathing however, is preferable to any of the above-mentioned possibilities as is clear in the hadith of `Abullaah ibn Qais (rad) who said: “I asked ‘Ai’ishah (rada) : “What did the Prophet (pbuh) do when in a state of janaba? Did he bathe before sleeping or sleep before bathing?” She […]

 
Making Tayammum in a state of Janaba instead of Wudhuu’

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh)   It is also permissible to make Tayammum sometimes instead of wudhuu’ before sleeping. This is based on a hadith of ‘Aa’ishah (rada) in which she said: “When the Prophet (pbuh) was in a state of janaba and wished to sleep, he used to make wudhuu’ or Tayammum.” [Al-Baihaqi: […]

 
The Ruling of this Wudhuu’

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) This wudhuu’ is not obligatory, but is very highly and definitely commendable. This (i.e. its not being obligatory) is based on the hadith narrated by ‘Umar (rad) in which he asked the Prophet (pbuh): “Should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?” To which the […]

 
Taking Wudhuu’ after Sex and before Sleeping

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) It is best for husband and wife not to sleep after having sex until they first perform wudhuu’. There are various hadith about this, among them: First: On the authority of ‘Aa’shah (rada) who said: “Whenever the Prophet (pbuh) wished to sleep or eat while in a […]

 
The Bathing of Husband and Wife together

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh)   It is permissible for the husband and wife to bath together in the same place even though he sees her private parts, and she sees his. This is established by a number of authentic hadith, among them: On the authority of ‘Aa’ishah (radiallahu anha) who said: […]

 
Bathing is preferable

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) Bathing, however, is preferable to merely making wudhuu’ in such situations. Abu Raafi’ narrates: “That the Prophet (pbuh) made the rounds of all his wives one night, bathing in the house of each one. He (i.e. the narrator) asked the Prophet  (pbuh) : “Couldn’t you have just bathed once (i.e. […]

 
Making Wudhuu’ between 2 acts with one’s wife

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet ) When a Muslim man has had sexual intercourse with his wife in the legal manner and then wishes to return another time, he should first perform wudhuu’, based on the statement of the Prophet (pbuh) : “When one of you comes to his wife and then wishes to […]

 
The Prohibition of Sodomy

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet ) It is forbidden for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her anus. This is understood from the verse quoted above (i.e. since a “planting ground” can only refer to a place where something might grow), and from the narrations cited above. There are also other […]

 
How he should come to her

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) It is allowed for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes – from behind or from the front. About this Allaah revealed the following verse: “Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how […]

 
What to say at the time of making love

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pubh) When a Muslim man is about to enter his wife, he should always say first: Bismillahi, Allahumma jannibnaa ash-shaitaan, wa jannib ash-shaitaan maa razaqtanna [In the name of Allah, O Allah, keep us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may […]

 
The praying of husband and wife together

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pubh) It is desirable for the husband and wife to pray 2 rakaat together on their wedding night. This has been narrated from the earliest generation of Muslims, as in the following 2 narrations: First: On the authority of Abu Sa’eed Mawla Abu Asyad (rad) who said: “I […]

 
Placing your hands on your wife’s head and praying for her

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pbuh) The husband should, at the time of consummating the marriage with his wife or before that, place his hand on the front part of her head, mention the name of Allah Most High, and pray for Allah’s blessings. As in the statement of the Prophet (pbuh): “When any […]

 
Kindness toward your wife when you wish to enter into her

(in the pure Tradition of the Prophet pubh) It is desirable, when one goes into his wife on his wedding night, to show her kindness, such as presenting her with something to drink, etc. This is found in the hadith narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: “I beautified ‘As’ishah for Allaah’s Messenger […]